B is for BEING. We are good and valuable even without outside success or merits, or someone else’s approval. It’s enough to just BE. 

C is for CURIOSITY. In times of uncertainty and in-between works, I immerse myself in the arts, books, other people, the world. When I feel down, it’s best to look outside of yourself and be of service. 

D is for DRAMA. I love drama, as long as it’s not in my personal life. I live for it! That means drama literally, in the theatre and in film, but also just over-the-top exaggeration and fun. I dramatize my own life when I need it, turn into make-belief and fantasy. And it has sustained me. 

E is for EQUALITY. I know this may not happen in my lifetime and already a lot has been done. I will never stop fighting for equality between all sexes, all genders, all people. It’s not a matter of “identity politics”, but about basic human rights. We can do more. 

F is for FUCK YOU. Sometimes we need this. It’s more of an attitude than anything else. Women and women-assumed are often bombarded with different needs and obligations, and norms regarding good behavior and pleasing other people, and I say “fuck you” to this. I’m all for being kind and loving, but boundaries also need to be drawn and I believe we know when it’s time to do that, and I strongly encourage everyone to listen to their intuition. 

G is for GLAMOUR. Everyone can determine what this means to themselves. I don’t mind getting dressed up or throwing a glamorous party every now and then! This brings me joy in life. 

H is for HER. This is my pronoun. I’m also learning to ask for peoples pronouns and try and make a space safer/braver. This also reduces the stress of many gender non-conforming people, that they don’t have to be the only ones explaining their pronouns. It’s a small thing, but goes a long way. Try it!

I is for IMAGINATION. I have been told I have a good imagination, and I think so too. I can live in it, if I have to, and I love the art field because I can be with my imagination and other peoples imaginations so much. What a life affirming, life-giving thing. What gives you energy and makes you feel good? Look for those things and empower them. 

J is for JOY. The older I get, the more I’m looking for things and art, and people and works that bring me joy. And often they are things, that I enjoyed working with when I was a kid: Dancing, music, theatre, directing, writing, fantasy worlds, art. The beautiful thing about being an artist is, that your art and your imagination is always with you, and even when you are not “working” for someone, you can create worlds for yourself, and have a practice. Again, you don’t need anyone’s permission to do what you do. 

K is for KAIJA. My mother was an amazing woman, and an artist, a movie and theatre actress, director, writer and a teacher and a spiritual being. I miss her everyday and I am so thankful that I’ve been able to act with her as a kid, and through her I got into tv-acting, and she always gave me a lot of freedom. And she taught me feminism just by being who she was and fighting for equality and justice where ever she went. And she was the funniest! “Joy is the final rebellion” read on her fridge door. 

L is for LOVE. Love is easy to overlook but I think it’s everything. This is a deeper philosophy in life. I don’t take love lightly at all. 

M is for MADONNA. Queen of Pop. I got to see her live for the third time at the end of last year, and she was better than ever at 65. Such an inspiration. She’s also been a star in a time when misogyny ruled supreme, and she’s had to fight and explain herself to idiots for years. Backlash after backlash. She made her finest work after 40. She’s incredibly resilient. “What would Madonna do?”, I think is a good question to ask oneself in times of trouble (or in the face of misogyny).

N is for NURTURE. Nourish, nurture yourself and your gifts. You are all you’ve got. It’s easy to lose yourself, and your needs when you’re in the middle of a busy chapter in life or in the middle of work. Never forget yourself and feeding yourself and taking care of yourself. This is something, I must always remind myself of.

O is for OPULENCE. I’m like a magpie. I love all things that shine, and you can find me there. 

P is for PIANO. I used to play the piano, but like every other normal hobby, I quit. That doesn’t stop me from enjoying it when somebody’s playing it. I love it in classical music, jazz, house music, easy listening - bring it!

Q is for QUEEN. What I have come to realise after this very wonderful and multi-faceted mentorship, is that I need to value myself more, and I’m sharing this with other women, femmes and non-binary people, that we often get dismissed and overlooked, so like escaping into your own fantasy world can be a good thing, speaking kindly and even praising yourself is an important thing. This is not arrogance, but about basic self-esteem, standing on your own two feet and, again, valuing yourself even without other people’s approval. I often feel like I’m in the “wrong place” in a way, because this society loves to pigeon-hole people and put them into their place. I do many things and one of the challenges to me has been to focus on what it is that I want to do. During this mentorship I have written, I have reached out to theatres, I’ve been teaching, I’ve joined the WIFT board, I’ve applied for jobs I never thought possible for myself. I have interesting works coming up, and also some challenges in my personal life, but I know I will get through it. DON’T VALUE YOURSELF BASED ON OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINIONS, BY SOMEBODY ELSE’S APPROVAL. “Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another”. Hold on to yourself, and surround yourself with good people and learn to ASK FOR HELP. You will be fine. 

R is for REAL. As much as I love glamour and glitz, I love somebody who is real. I love connecting with people that let me see themselves, who are real, who are vulnerable and who are not afraid to show it. 

S is for SARA. I’m so embarrassed by this alphabet already, but I’m still doing it. It’s a self help-guide and my biography in the same package! I’m 38 years old today. I’m so proud of who I have become. Life has given me a lot, but it’s also been rough. These past years have left me with some serious soul-searching, self-searching and heartache to heal. I long for community and women and others leaning on one another, supporting one another. Conflicts and trouble will occur, and I’m also trying to find ways to not let everything affect me so deeply and to have some distance between me and stuff that’s happening outside of me. I need grounding rituals and routines, ways to unwind. This is my aim for the upcoming year. I want to let go of all tension. 

T is for TRUTH. This is about authenticity and being real, as well. I know this, too, can go overboard, and that’s not what I’m about at all. I try to stay truthful to myself and to others as well. “Be impeccable with your word”, is a sentence I try to live by, but sometimes I stumble. I may promise things, or want to do more, than I actually can. This requires patience and listening to oneself. I believe that truth will prevail and that everything comes back to you in life. 

U is for UNDERSTANDING. Trying to understand someone’s experience or opinion, even when they differ from your own. Deep listening. Trying to understand where they are coming from. This is key to all communication, I think. Not assuming anything based on your own experience, but being open to new ideas. 

V is for VERA. Vera is my big sister and my rock. We’ve been through it all together. She is very gifted in a lot of ways, and very intelligent. I’m so happy to have her in my life and her family. I connect with her in a way, that I don’t connect with anyone else. My child says that “Vera is the icon of our family”, and that’s true. 

W is for WE. I don’t believe in genius-myth, or some lonely mastermind steering the wheel while everyone obeys the rules. I have strong visions but I want to work TOGETHER with other people and trust their vision as well, and their artistry. I tend to work in a low-hierarchical way, and it grows in the end, where I as a director, make the final decisions. But in a way, it would be best that the director would be almost “invisible” in the theatre. I love working with directors like that. Where I almost don’t notice what they are doing, but I have their support and I feel their work of course. In film I guess it’s a little different. Or does it have to be?

X is for XOXO

Y is for YOUTH. I think youth or being young or feeling young can also be a state of mind. I’ve met 60 years olds who are young in the mind, young at heart. And I’ve met 20 years olds who feel like grannies. I find myself drawn to older women and their wisdom and their strength. I wish to see more of (all kinds of) women and all ages working and thriving and creating and talking, and writing and just taking over, you know. 

Z is for ZEN. 

Å är för “å ena sidan”.  
Det kan finnas många sanningar på samma gång.

Ä on äidinkieli. Olen päättänyt kirjoittaa tätä blogia englanniksi, jotta se olisi ymmärrettävä mahdollisimman monelle. Kannatan muutenkin monikielisyyttä kaikessa, myös taiteen ja elokuvan tekemisessä.

Ö on Öinen. Kirjoittelin ystäväni kanssa eilen, jolla on myös vastoinkäymisiä nyt kuten minulla. Hän sanoi että nyt menee aika “öisesti” ja tykästyin siihen. Samalla kun kirjoitan tätä tuntuu myös jo vähän helpommalta, olo alkaa keventyä kun asioita kirjoittaa, puhuu ääneen, jakaa ja päästää ulos. Nyt menee vähän öisesti, mutta sekin on vain tunne. Kaikki muuttuu koko ajan. 

Laita soimaan Amanda Learin Alphabets. 
Play Amanda Lear’s Alphabets.

Thanks for reading. Happy birthday to me.