Sowing Seeds and Planting a Flag
The first post was long and meandering so this offering will be rather short and sweet, just as the days are getting shorter and if not sweeter, definitely colder. I do understand why people brought up in this climate might dread winter, but for me, it feels like such a peaceful and quiet time, a really precious opportunity to turn inward and catch my breath. It looks like a superficial fallow period, but actually quite a bit is going on underneath the surface. I realize too that my first post was a bit too starry-eyed and some things I was expecting to come to fruition did not, or were so sorely disappointing they’re best left behind in the rearview.
The early part of autumn was super busy with work, creating, writing, teaching, and making re-connections. In the midst of it all, I decided to move flats, even though changing my living situation was the last thing I felt like doing but it was necessary for my mental health. Our second mentor / mentee meeting was dinner at the flat I was leaving behind. During that meal together, Katri very kindly offered to help me move my meagre belongings. I could have done it on my own as I usually do but it was so nice to have some help and some company. Entering new living spaces is always so strange and disorienting but we got the job done before a very busy November began for us both.
During our meal together, we also strategized a bit for our second “official” meeting since we considered the dinner more of a social thing rather than a space to plan. So, our next day spent together will be 6 November, the first time I’m in Finland for its Independence Day. I was very relieved to know that it is generally celebrated quietly instead of the raucousness of New Year’s Eve or America’s 4th of July. While I appreciate the beauty of fireworks in the sky, I have PTSD or shell shock or whatever you call it since, when fireworks are part of the program, they explode for what seems like days! I always feel sorry for the animals and people who have come from war-torn regions where those booming sounds are especially terrifying.
More details will have to wait until the final blog post about what might be revealed on that day, but it does feel like I am reclaiming my own independence from a lot of things that I got so weary of holding on to. It does feel as if I’m ready to (finally!) let some things go to make room for other dreams and wishes that have had to take a back seat, mostly just from sheer inertia and not a small amount of fear. I’m curious to see what might emerge. In the meantime, I will continue to feng shui my new home, as well as my mind and spirit to make room for the growth and change I want to see in my life.
I also very recently received some wonderful and very fulfilling news about how my time will be spent here in Helsinki for most of next year but at the moment, it’s too early to reveal that news too.
Wishing everyone a safe, warm, and peaceful holiday season and a very happy new year!